Saturday, 2 July 2016

Oh God, I Do Get Confused….!

I recently read a book about the laws that work in the court of God. The author clearly had some deep “medium” into the ways of the divine. An interesting point was that those who give charity to get a few “brownie” points from God will be cursed and confined to the lowly “realms” when they reach the spirit world. Ever since I read that, I get into a conundrum every time I decide to make any charitable donation or even just give a piece of fruit to the small unclothed boy at the traffic junction. My mind starts to taunt me: “Are you doing it for your own satisfaction? Or to please God? Or you really feel for that unfortunate person you are giving to?” The reality is that it is always a mix of all of them. However, now my fear is that my act of generosity might be construed in the higher divine courts as an act of corruption, and I might be condemned for it. My bureaucrat friend feels the same way. Whenever he takes any decision or passes a file quickly and fairly, his conscience pricks him: “Are you doing it for your own satisfaction? Or to please the minister? Or you really feel for this unfortunate country whom you are doing a service?” Lo and behold, for him too, the reality is always a mix of all of them! And his fear too is that his act of promptness might be construed in the earthly courts as an act of corruption, and he might be convicted for it! Oh God, I do get confused….!

There are many self-help books, and self-help crooks (the so called “gurus”) who proclaim that ego is the root of all our troubles. We should get rid of the ego inside us, empty our minds and souls for the God to inject his energy, his blessings. I tried to empty myself a few times, but rather than any energy from God, I was filled with taunts and sarcasm from others who felt I had no self-respect, no drive and ambition, no fire in the belly to fight back. And then someone suggested I need to have a little bit of ego as a protection. Protection from others who might perceive my lack of ego as a weakness and try and dominate me. So I replenished some of my stores of ego. Gradually I used the same stores of ego to act as a motivator for me. I pushed the ego inside of me to push towards my goals. To create something. The branding of my ego had gone from “destroyer” to “protector” to “creator” – the triumvirate of Shiva (destroyer), Vishnu (protector), Brahma (creator). The cycle will continue from the creation to protection to destruction again. Is this what my guru said about God residing in all of us? Not just one, but three Gods!Oh God, I do get confused….!

Krishna said do your duty and do not worry about the fruits. Fair enough. But he did not comment on doing your duty by giving fruits to others! Part of almost every working executive’s role (in most businesses) is to “offer fruits” to those who can grant some quick-fixes. This is a duty that all of us have to perform. We can avoid that, as some do, but then we are risking the livelihoods of several thousands or millions of others. Is that our duty? We remind ourselves then that we are doing our duty, and not even enjoying those sumptuous fruits ourselves – but if we do our duty and others enjoy the fruits, is that defying God’s decree?Oh God, I do get confused….!
 Many Christians believe in the seven sins – or rather more aptly, they believe not to indulge in those seven sins. Till they, and many other Hindus or Muslims, come into the classroom of the biggest teacher in life – survival! Soon they all master the art of semantics, and Pride becomes Self-Respect; Lust becomes Passion; Anger becomes Fire in the Belly; Envy becomes Competitiveness; Covetousness becomes Ambition; Gluttony becomes Well Fed; and Sloth becomes Well Rested. These are no longer seven sins, these are the seven virtues? Oh God, I do get confused….!

As a normal executive, one has to seek appointment from the manager who can change schedule as per his or her wish. The manager gets treated the same way by his CEO, and the CEO by his promoter, and the promoter by a politician! And then when the politician comes to ask for votes during elections from the normal executive, the executive can change his decision to vote for him or not as per his or her wish. Karmic cycle repeats every 5 years. I like such definitive time cycles. Just like the end of the year bonus and increments – you get what you deserve, and then you look forward to the next year. However, God’s karmic cycle has no definite time line. It might happen in this lifetime or next or maybe in some distant future few thousand years later. Imagine the plight of tax authorities if they have to keep records of all taxes due for a thousand years! And does it not contradict justice delayed is justice denied concept? Why would God delay justice for so long? Yes, the cases in our courts get delayed because of lack of enough judges, but can we doubt the supreme efficiency of the Supreme Judge of the Universe? Oh God, I do get confused….!